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Reasons to be Independent

I just found yet again another blog from a woman whose husband just up and died. I am in shock. The emotion is so raw. This is the second one I have come across lately. The first one was a mystery illness that took Jim away from his wife and six kids in less than 24 hours on 12-17-07. The second one was a Pulmonary Embolism that yanked Jeff away from his wife and two small children on 3-25-08. I just can’t imagine going through something like that. I can’t imagine dealing with my kids while I’m so sad and they’re so sad. What would I do? What would I say? We used to fight and I’d wish he’d be gone. I think I changed my mind at my Uncles funeral, when my nieces entered the funeral home and let out a cry from so very deep that I’ll never forget the sound, or the feeling of hopelessness and misery that it represented. They lost their Daddy and there was nothing any of us could do to help. Hold up their bodies so they can walk across the room, let their tears fall into our shoulder. The emptiness was painful. They had to clean out his apartment, pick clothes for him to be buried in. Their mother (divorced) had issues, too. How much do you like your ex? Not at all- I’m guessing, but suddenly now he’s dead and your kids are heartbroken and you’re needing to suddenly “remember the good times” so your kids can mourn, instead of remembering the time you got your ass kicked when he came home drunk? Anyway- both of these women were left to wonder how they’d manage financially with their husbands gone. Luckily, we have Life Insurance. If anything happened that would help, for at least 2 years, with a cheap funeral. I’m glad, though, that I have a means of supporting us in case anything happened, I can’t imagine going out on a job interview right after the funeral and sticking my grief-stricken kids in school or daycare right away. I think I’d want to lay in bed forever and drown in a puddle of tears.

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