Five things not to put on your resume

I’d like to submit for your enjoyment, “Five things not to put on your resume”

*- Babysitting jobs unless you are under 21 years old

*- The length of time you spent at jobs if it was less than three months. Be careful here. You can’t list lengths of time anywhere if you’re going to skip it anywhere. It’s either all or nothing. And if you’re in your early 20’s it isn’t a GOOD THING if you’ve worked everywhere in town for 2 months at a time. It means you’re getting fired all the time and making enemies of local employers.

*- The reason you’ve left a job. If you’ve moved to another town, that will be obvious. If you had “personal disagreements” with each of your last ten employers, that tells a future boss that you’re hard to work with. If you left your previous employer because you “weren’t getting enough hours” then it’s probably because they WANT you to quit. You might think it’s a good thing to have a lot of availability but the fact is, it means you have nothing better to do because your other job doesn’t want you there and you have no outside interests.

*-Your career goals if they are contradictory to your employment. If you are going to business school so that you can open up your own New Sock Company, you might want to think twice about telling the Current Sock Company your goals.

There are more, but I really don’t recall them at the moment. I will just add more when I see them. Sheesh- I should scan some of these stupid resumes for you to see. It’s just ridiculous.